I figured it out!
I should stop trying to figure it out.
I should leap before I look. At all times. Life is too short for looking. Plus, what the fuck am I even looking for? What are any of us looking for? Neon signs with arrows?
I say fuck it. Let's fuck it.
Dilly Dallying is just a silly British sounding term so fuck doing that.
Instead, I'm going to wear my sleeve on my heart.
I'm going to throw caution to the wind underneath my wings.
Instead, I'm going to go.
They say after laughter, comes tears. So here's to another year, cheers!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Greed is Good
1997. I'd been doing housebreaks all year with no remorse. In fact, I remember being somewhat full of pride for crime statistics in my area. Pretty sure I managed 5 in the space of less than 5 hours one day. Anyway, I digress. I had walked across the road into the suburb of Nollamarra and had 2 friends following for lookouts and extra baggage handling that might or might not occur.
I see a house. I knock with my newly thought out plan of sizing up if anyone was home or not. Someone answers, I ask if they've seen my mythical pet dog. No one answers? I knock harder. No one answers still? I walk around into the backyard and start wedging screwdrivers into window frames.
So no one answered but I can hear their neighbors in their own backyard doing gardening or something. I make sure to watch my every step so as not to crunch any wayward leaves or other obstacles that would make them suspicious to my trespassing. I find a back window. I begin cracking the window. Slowly so the neighbors can't hear. I push my screwdriver over the cracks, directing their breakage for minimal noise and maximum spacing.
After getting enough window broken and out of the way so I can get through, I get through to a teenager males bedroom. Laser disc player in bedroom? SCORE!!! VCR in bedroom? i can get 50 bucks for that VCR! SCORE! Rockford Fosgate Subwoofers?? SCORE!!! I walk into the rest of the house, like a kid in a candy shop mixed with a bull in a china shop. I notice another VCR in the lounge room. SCORE!! Fuck grabbing TVs. They're far too heavy and it's summer. I start looking for bags to put the VCRs and laser disc player in. I get them and situate them and both VCRs in the initial room I entered into from outside.
I hadn't bagged shit up yet. I got to thinking. These people got cash. They have just got to. Either that or gold. So I decide to start looking harder in spots people would hide shit in, i.e under mattresses, under bottom drawers, that kind of thing. While doing so, I hear a noise come from outside. I think nothing of it. Then I hear a more pronounced noise. A car door. That was definitely a car door. I immediately head for the teenage males bedroom that I have the bags and electronic equipment in.
Now, the hole in the window wasn't immensely big. I was focusing on quiet n quick, not comfort. Climbing through on the way in wasn't easy because I was trying to be quiet and the small size. Needless to say, sound was the least of my concerns exiting.
I do a superman head first leap through the hole in the glass.
I make it through cleanly except my foot. Stupid shoe catches it. Glass breaks more. I land on hands n feet like a cat and keep on moving. By this time, I am positive that I have been noticed. I head around to the side of the house, away from the driveway, from the back. Shit. A mass pile of broken dead branches n shit. Shit. There's no turning back. In a fit of instinct, I launch myself towards the tight massive pile of sharp, pointy garden refuse.
Somehow, I manage to flick myself over the fence from in between a branch and the house while running at it full steam. Now I'm in the neighbors front yard, full of momentum. Shit. Neighbors have a dog. Turn into Carl Lewis and zip past it and then jump the neighbors front wall into the street, all without missing a beat.
My nikes hit the bitumen. I hear the front security door of the asian place I was trying to rob. No rest for the wicked. Keep running. See lookout and additional hand. They give me a puppy-like sideways confused head look. I yell at them to run. I look behind me to see an asian male in his late 20s, early 30s, trying to catch me as hard as his little legs could possibly go. We easily lose him as he isn't willing to leave his house all open for very long and plus we weren't going to let him catch us, one way or another. After wards, all pissed off, hot from the heat and chase, I find another house to break into. That one was successful.
I see a house. I knock with my newly thought out plan of sizing up if anyone was home or not. Someone answers, I ask if they've seen my mythical pet dog. No one answers? I knock harder. No one answers still? I walk around into the backyard and start wedging screwdrivers into window frames.
So no one answered but I can hear their neighbors in their own backyard doing gardening or something. I make sure to watch my every step so as not to crunch any wayward leaves or other obstacles that would make them suspicious to my trespassing. I find a back window. I begin cracking the window. Slowly so the neighbors can't hear. I push my screwdriver over the cracks, directing their breakage for minimal noise and maximum spacing.
After getting enough window broken and out of the way so I can get through, I get through to a teenager males bedroom. Laser disc player in bedroom? SCORE!!! VCR in bedroom? i can get 50 bucks for that VCR! SCORE! Rockford Fosgate Subwoofers?? SCORE!!! I walk into the rest of the house, like a kid in a candy shop mixed with a bull in a china shop. I notice another VCR in the lounge room. SCORE!! Fuck grabbing TVs. They're far too heavy and it's summer. I start looking for bags to put the VCRs and laser disc player in. I get them and situate them and both VCRs in the initial room I entered into from outside.
I hadn't bagged shit up yet. I got to thinking. These people got cash. They have just got to. Either that or gold. So I decide to start looking harder in spots people would hide shit in, i.e under mattresses, under bottom drawers, that kind of thing. While doing so, I hear a noise come from outside. I think nothing of it. Then I hear a more pronounced noise. A car door. That was definitely a car door. I immediately head for the teenage males bedroom that I have the bags and electronic equipment in.
Now, the hole in the window wasn't immensely big. I was focusing on quiet n quick, not comfort. Climbing through on the way in wasn't easy because I was trying to be quiet and the small size. Needless to say, sound was the least of my concerns exiting.
I do a superman head first leap through the hole in the glass.
I make it through cleanly except my foot. Stupid shoe catches it. Glass breaks more. I land on hands n feet like a cat and keep on moving. By this time, I am positive that I have been noticed. I head around to the side of the house, away from the driveway, from the back. Shit. A mass pile of broken dead branches n shit. Shit. There's no turning back. In a fit of instinct, I launch myself towards the tight massive pile of sharp, pointy garden refuse.
Somehow, I manage to flick myself over the fence from in between a branch and the house while running at it full steam. Now I'm in the neighbors front yard, full of momentum. Shit. Neighbors have a dog. Turn into Carl Lewis and zip past it and then jump the neighbors front wall into the street, all without missing a beat.
My nikes hit the bitumen. I hear the front security door of the asian place I was trying to rob. No rest for the wicked. Keep running. See lookout and additional hand. They give me a puppy-like sideways confused head look. I yell at them to run. I look behind me to see an asian male in his late 20s, early 30s, trying to catch me as hard as his little legs could possibly go. We easily lose him as he isn't willing to leave his house all open for very long and plus we weren't going to let him catch us, one way or another. After wards, all pissed off, hot from the heat and chase, I find another house to break into. That one was successful.
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