Warming up to the idea of being cold hearted.

around 3 months ago while riding in a friends car, i saw a guy get run over by a car.

i once saw a car accident between a toyota FJ60 2 door 4wd utility and a shitty hyundai once years ago. it was like slomo and i remember it quite vividly coz i quite close to it. i think i was waiting for a phone box at balga bazaar coz i just got a 500 dollar loan from cuntrelink.

balga. its a strange place. i had a friend once upon a time. lets call him ronald. now the time is about 1996 and ronald is only 13-14 years old. ronald had a sister. she od'd when someone gave her heroin while she was already passed out on it. at the time heroin was everywhere. all my friends from school were using it. i saw quite a few of them od and need ambulances. ronald was with me and another friend in staying away from using needles and just smoking weed and taking any and every thing else. ronald was doing well. he was quite brazen for his age and his love of fast driving and cars aswell as dirtbikes just added up to him stealing all kinds of vehicles and bringing them back to wherever people he knew where at so he could show off. we ran into him walking in mirrabooka one day and he started bragging about how many cars hes had lately and how many police chases hes lost. we tell him to bring one past our house and go back home. within 2 hours, just as the sun was setting, we hear sirens. walk outside for a cigarette. we hear an engine revving very hard but sounding like its in vain. i look right. i see ronald. hes driving a beige 1986 ford laser and theres smashing noises coming from his backseat when he takes corners. haha. funny guy stole a car with plates in the back. he proceeds down the street followed by 2 paddywagons, a marked car and 1 unmarked chase car. we were pretty amazed with what we just saw and started instantly talking about. we quickly piped down when we realised that we could hear the chase if we were quiet. it was all tyre squealing, engine revving and sirens wailing. then it dawned on me. it was getting closer. he brought the chase back past again, the exact same way he came before too. he had also gained more of a buffer over the chasing police cars, of which there were now 3. amazingly, he did this 2 more times, making it 4 times past our house with one chase. we saw him 2 days later. we asked what happened afterwards. he tells us that he got forced into a culdesac in a newly developed area. when he went to hit reverse, a cop smashed the drivers window and tried stopping the car. he said that he just stabbed away with his flathead screwdriver that he used to steal the car with. he thought he was sure that he stabbed through that cops arm, but he ended up losing them and getting away. later on down the track, ronald ended up using heroin too, using needles and whatnot. it was sad to see. i think the only reason he started using was because all the other top thieves were junkies and he had alot of money sometimes from stealing that i guess, it was a way to celebrate when he got it. anyway, moving on. i used to know another lil dude around the way back then.....

i first met nathaniel* when i was 14. i was ditching high school down at the quick stop lunch bar in mirrabooka. he was only 11 then and mad short. aboriginal kid. wearing adidas and nikes. all dirty n shit. i was trying to get people to buy me smokes out the front. he asks me for a smoke. i tell him what im up to. he asks, if he helps ask people, will i give him a cigarette. i agree. while waiting he asks if i want to buy some jewelry. i laughingly decline. he tells me about driving stolen cars while sitting on a double stack of yellow pages. no one had mobile phones back then. so after i got cigs, i bounced, but over the next 3 years, i saw nathaniel around a bit. he used to hang around ronald alot. after my housemate and i found a few stolen cars in row, which i will get to later in another story, peeps like ronald and nathaniel looked up to me and my friend. we used to call nathaniel our lil gangsta. then, one day i broke into a house, and got 2 weed plants, 400 dollars, 4 model cars and some gold chains. i was happy keeping 2 model cars and 2 chains out of the 4 i had, and nathaniel told me his uncle that he lived with could sell them easily for weed/cash. we were like yeah, whatever but didnt tell them others what we had. long story short. his uncle didnt come back with cash. i ask nathaniel about it. he tells me that his uncle always takes whatever he steals and sells it to buy alcohol, tab betting slips, cigarettes and drugs. when he tries to stick up for himself, he gets beat up for it. he reminded us of a few months earlier when he had a black eye. that was because he asked. i wanted to go there and punch dude in the face hard. but nathaniel told me he has swords n likes prison. he wasnt worth that. so instead, whenever we went out stealing, we brought nathaniel along, and always made sure he got his cut. we told him to put some in his sock so his uncle wouldnt get all of it. he ended up accumulating quite the little saving fund til he blew that on cartons of stinger drinks and bags of weed. i once saw nathaniel throw a rock at a kids head, close range and connect... blood, kid crying like a girl and nathaniel loose in verbal rage, forcibly being ushered up the block. it happened at sunset. that same night, i was riding a diamond back bmx through a red light at high speed at peak hour. cops pulled me up for reckless riding. i didnt even know that charge existed. they let me off coz they had another call over the radio. something about a bunch of youths gang bashing a guy at the local video store. it was a thursday night. i later see the gang doing the bashing at my house later and they shout me weed. good times.

i was a career criminal. i know this because i used to seek methods to stay awake at night to steal. i once took acid. it wasnt a very smart move. i started out at around 1am, when i bolt cut a bike lock at the mirrabooka bus station. now portable, i thought to go spend the night/morning breaking into cars and seeing what i could find. first car, bike waiting on stand in next street. i use my screwdriver to pop the rear quarter panel window. no prob. i look at the house.
i coulda swore i saw the curtain move. but instead, i convince myself that its just the acid and that the curtain didnt move at all. then all of a sudden, the front door bursts open and some big burly guy is rushing at me yelling obscenities and im running like the wind towards my bike. i get to it but i cant jump on. hes too close. plus im off my face. hes right on my tail as im running with the bike. i let the bike go without remorse. it ghosted n stacked, right infront of the guy chasing me. couldnt of timed it better. i just kept on legging it down the block and across the road until i could hide or find something else to get my hands into. later that night, after several failed attempts of criminal activities, i find a stolen 1985 ford laser or as we used to call them, a bubbleshape. it was go fast red. there was 3 cans of spray paint in the car so i drove it down to the bus station and sprayed the whole joint. it was just daylight. like 5-6am. i then took it to a massive grass oval and did burnouts n shit for a good 20 mins then drove it out to the industrial area in malaga and did burnouts for 10 mins or so. i was thinking, i could maybe wake up my housemate n partner in crime up for a morning joyride. he wakes up, we jump in. less than 1 min into the ride, we see a police car drive past us. they double it back. we hit a side road with a park on it. i jump out while the car is still moving. i forget my shoes in a backpack with a bunch of screwdrivers in the car. my friend who was driving, had his door jam, causing his departure from the car to be not as speedy as mine. in the long run, he got caught. i had run down 1 street on the other side of the park and was hiding under a mister whippy van. i see the cops drive around looking for me with my friend in the back of paddywagon. it was around 8:30am by that time. i remember running past a family of 20 walking down the street.