The 1st snowball down the hill....

BIKE THEFT.....from 3 or so years ago.


stealing a bike can very much be the bag of unidentified tricks.




for starters, you dont know if it has pumped up tyres. stealing a bike with flat tyres isnt recommended.




theres also the chain/gears. are they working ok? coz if they aint, the bike is not rideable, making you look like a broken bike stealing douche.




environment around the bike.


suss out everyone, even if its a parked car across the street and you cant see if anyones in it, assume that people are in it and dont steal the bike, or if you think its empty, dont hesitate and just steal the bike

hesitation is a major thing with crime. if you hesitate, you will either....

1. make yourself look suss, and therefore more likely of being caught.



2.chicken out.



3.fuck around when you didnt have to.




HESITATION IS NEVER GOOD. and hesitation and patience are 2 COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.




well, to continue my story, i went to steal the bike after staying awake past 24hours. i also had just picked up 4 bags of weed. i was also bugging out on ipod music and it was around 10am.




beaufort street, shops near grand promenade. peeps know which ones.




seen a giant mountain bike just sitting there.




walked down the street, took my shoes off, re did the laces (for possible running) and walked back towards beaufort street.




walked up to the bike, grabbed it. hmmm, nice seat.




went to ride off when i realised......

the chain is off the gear sprocket.




so i jump back off it and start running.




then i see where the chain is off. i quickly stop, fuck with the chain, put it back on the gear, and proceed to ride off down the road.




now, doing all of that with the ipod going wasnt the smartest idea coz i swear to god, i felt like cars were chasing me or something just because the obvious levels of fatigue and the ipod being so loud....(QWEL - THE NEW WINE)

but yeah, i stole that giant mountain bike. it sits in my courtyard now with the other womens mongoose mountain bike that my GF stole weeks earlier.




then, later that night, i went up to the gas station on beaufort street. i only wanted 2 drinks and 2 icecreams. got to the checkout and i also stole 2 cherry ripe chocolate bars.




somebody stop me. im outta control.



criminal mastermind in the making.